Many grieving parents and siblings long for a sign that their dead
child, sister or brother is not “lost” to them. So it is quite normal
that grievers often have moments when they feel somehow “in touch”
with the dead child. This feeling may be triggered by a dream that
was clearer than other dreams – our awareness seemed heightened, our
dream experience was immediate, direct, unmistakably “true.” Perhaps
we were startled by an event that brought our dead child to our
presence in an oddly tangible way. We may have visited a psychic who
comforted us with sensitive thoughts and messages.
And so we find her/his image in familiar places; we hear him/her
speak words within our mind; we feel a touch, a breath, a presence
unbelievably close. But we are expected and we expect ourselves to
accept only those things which “make sense” in terms of what the
human mind, at present, can recognize as “a fact.”
Some of us can take unusual occurrences in stride, but many more, for
reasons of faith or logic, are shaken and even disturbed by such
events. We worry about offending some requirements of tradition or
religion. We wonder are we losing our mind, are we mentally sound or
has the fact of our child’s death completely distorted our senses?
Don’t be alarmed. The first thing to remember is that all things
which happen are natural, by definition. The so-called supernatural
is only a word coined to describe natural things that do not fit into
the framework of what we are at present able to understand. We only
have to consider, for instance, that two hundred years ago television
would have been regarded as supernatural; actually, TV was even then
a natural possibility, but no human had yet been able to put its
components into practice.
In a similar way, we may not see the factors at work when we feel “in
touch with our dead child. But the idea of such communication can
become more understandable, when we remember how connected to most of
our children’s experiences we are. To some extent, our children’s
responses are as familiar to us as our own thoughts. Of course, we do
not completely and always know how our children feel about absolutely
everything (just as we do not always know our own mind). But we have
probably internalized our children’s way of communicating so well
that we can share thoughts after our child is gone, in a very
immediate way – whether this should be called psychic or not is
beside the point.
We can be “in touch” with our dead children, sisters and brothers who
exist in us from the depth of a shared life. Sometimes we hear their
words, sometimes we recognize them in images, sometimes we feel their
touch. This is our legacy, given to help us heal and grow in spirit.
There is a light of understanding and communion within us, softly
illuminated by love, insight, and familiarity. Find its comfort, and
trust its wisdom.
-Sascha, LARGO Newsletter, 3/96
In Memory of Sascha