Chapter Meeting : Saturday, November 15, 2008 , at 4:00-6:00 PM Venue is at the Greenhills Christian Fellowship, Ruby Corner Garnet Sts, Ortigas Center , Read details here .
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* Your child has feelings and symptoms of grief similar to those of an adult. He may also seem outwardly confused and defensive about death.
* A surviving child is reacting to the loss of his sibling AND to the changed behaviour of his parents and others. Reassure him that the depth of a parent's grief does not lessen the love felt for him.
* Be aware of your child's level of understanding or misunderstanding: a child of two or younger has the concept of "here" and "not here"' a child of 3-5 years sees death as temporary; at 6 10 years a child understands the reality of death and is curious about biological aspects of death and details of burial; from 11 on a child conceives of death in a manner similar to that of an adult.
* Explain truthfully to your children, on a level they can understand, what caused the death of a sibling. Answer all questions simply, directly, giving answers to build on later, not ones that will have to be unlearned. Even a child of 2 or 3 can understand "his body could not work anymore." The more a child understands, the less fearful he will be.
* Avoid euphemisms; they are easily misunderstood by children. Do NOT mix religious and medical causes. He was not taken because God wanted him in heaven. He died because his body could not work anymore. His body was buried in the ground. You may believe his spirit or all the things that made him special are with God.
* Your child has feelings and symptoms of grief similar to those of an adult. He may also seem outwardly confused and defensive about death.
* A surviving child is reacting to the loss of his sibling AND to the changed behaviour of his parents and others. Reassure him that the depth of a parent's grief does not lessen the love felt for him.
* Be aware of your child's level of understanding or misunderstanding: a child of two or younger has the concept of "here" and "not here"' a child of 3-5 years sees death as temporary; at 6 10 years a child understands the reality of death and is curious about biological aspects of death and details of burial; from 11 on a child conceives of death in a manner similar to that of an adult.
* Explain truthfully to your children, on a level they can understand, what caused the death of a sibling. Answer all questions simply, directly, giving answers to build on later, not ones that will have to be unlearned. Even a child of 2 or 3 can understand "his body could not work anymore." The more a child understands, the less fearful he will be.
* Avoid euphemisms; they are easily misunderstood by children. Do NOT mix religious and medical causes. He was not taken because God wanted him in heaven. He died because his body could not work anymore. His body was buried in the ground. You may believe his spirit or all the things that made him special are with God.
dead child. Perhaps each child would like something "for the moment" and something to carry into adulthood: a book,. music, toy, clothes, photograph, jewelry.
* Give your child alternatives for using his grief positively drawing, writing letters, poetry, stories, diary, hammering, tennis, caring for plants.
* Allow your child (even the very young) to participate in family rituals if he'd like: visiting the cemetery, making arrangements for the grave, contributing to a memorial fund. Use HIS ideas of showing his love and his grief at anniversaries or special days.
* There is a tendency to idealize the dead and parents should take care not to make comparisons that could lead to feelings of unworthiness in remaining children. While it is difficult, parents should avoid being either over protective or over permissive.
* Your child will continue to need information on his sibling's death at each new stage of growth. Be open to his questions. Respect his privacy.
These guidelines have been gathered from bereaved parents, surviving children and the writings of professional caregivers.
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Want to Volunteer?
If you would like to volunteer some of your spare time to work for TCF and would like to find out more about how you can 'put back' into The Compassionate friends, download Volunteer Form (word doc) and fill up the form. Then submit the same form by emailing us at info@compassioantefriends.info . Read more on how to become a volunteer.
We Charge No Dues
WE CHARGE NO DUES- There are no fees, however, we are supported by LOVE GIFTS and contributions, provided in memory of our loved ones, so that we may reach out to others in their bereavement through our chapter resources such as Newsletters, Website, Postage stamps, Lending library and brochures. (support the isulong seoph )
Chapter Meeting
Our monthly support group meeting is the heart of TCF. These gatherings provide a caring environment in which bereaved parents and adult siblings can talk freely about the emotions and experiences they are going through and receive the understanding support of others who have "been there." Read more.
TCF Principles
TCF offers friendship and understanding to bereaved parents.
TCF believes that bereaved parents can help each other toward a positive resolution of their grief.
TCF reaches out to all bereaved parents across barriers of religion, race, income or ethnic group.
TCF understands that every bereaved parent has individual needs and rights.
TCF helps bereaved parents primarily through local chapters.
TCF chapters belong to their members.
TCF chapters are coordinated nationally to extend help to each other and to individual bereaved parents everywhere.
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