STEPS TO MAKING PROGRESS

By The Compassionate Friends

Allow Yourself:
  to be imperfect—
to explore avenues that bring you pleasure and a little peace—
to remember your child in whatever way you feel appropriate.

Force Yourself:
  to keep communications open—
to accept offers of help from family or friends—
to go through the old routines again—
to really listen to your spouse and children—
to try an activity you used to enjoy.

Convince Yourself:
  that every member of your family will and should grieve differently—
that you won’t feel dead inside forever—
that your confusion about intimacy with your spouse is normal.

Let Yourself:
  off the hook for problems—
feel the anger—
feel whatever it is that you do feel about God—
treasure your special friends

Teach Yourself:
  to establish small goals—
everything you can learn about grief—
to ignore well-intentioned, unhelpful comments of others—
to let go of the moment of your child’s death—
to embrace the memories of your child

Talk To Yourself:
  to change the negative ways you think about everything

Forgive Yourself:
  for not being the most perfect parent—
for all the things that you think you did or did not do

Find Yourself:
  now that you have changed into a different person,
without relying on drugs, alcohol, etc.,
rely on positive techniques (reading, writing, new hobby, etc.)

Indulge Yourself:
 by being selfish and doing something just for you—
because you deserve it

Express Yourself:
  by talking out your feelings—
in a safe atmosphere, such as The Compassionate Friends—
through a new activity

Forget Yourself and Give of Yourself:
  by seeking out other bereaved parents and others in trouble—
by concentrating on others who are in pain—
to discover that WE NEED NOT WALK ALONE—
as a tribute to your child