Goodness Rebounds

It happens with regularity and yet each time it does I am still amazed.
Each time I help someone it seems that I also benefit! This most recent
demonstration of ripple-effect goodness took place in March as I struggled
and reflected on a problem. A grieving mother needed help. She was
depressed and had a problem regarding the loss of her son.

Now many of us have lost a loved one. My only son was killed at age 17. It
shook my world so badly that I never thought I could ever regain my
balance. So it seemed ideal that I should try to help another mom because
I had a full understanding of the problem.

This lady was depressed and becoming very anxious as the birthday of her
deceased child drew nearer. How could she get through this difficult time?
Well when she wrote to me it was only weeks before my own son's birthday.
My past handling of this problem for eleven years had been poor! I ran
from the pain, kept very busy and tried not to think about it. I cried off
and on through out the birthday. But now I was being called on to help
someone else so I had to examine the problem more objectively.

I sat down to ponder this problem, knowing that surely there was
something I could say to help this lady. Suddenly and with great ease an
idea came to me. I felt there was something that would help. I suggested
that she needed to celebrate the life of her child. (Yes we both did!) We
needed to focus on the time that we had shared with them, on the laughter
and sunshine they had brought into our lives. NOW ALL WE NEEDED WERE SOME
IDEAS, SOME WAYS TO CELEBRATE!

I came up with nine ideas, ways for celebrating this upcoming birthday.
And I sent them off to her. But things didn't stop there.

I began thinking more about that short list of ideas  and wished it had
been longer. I decided to call on the troops! I mailed out forty letters
to friends asking them for their ideas. Within two days, my list of nine
had grown to fifty. Some people sent in one idea, some four or five. The
suggestions ranged from simple to elaborate. There were ideas that
involved gardening, butterflies, baseball, gifts for others and service to
others. The list was marvelous! And even after I put it all together, more
ideas trickled in!

I didn't realize what an effect all this was going to have on me until a
couple of days later.

My husband and I were getting ready for a big book launching celebration
and the museum where it was to be held scheduled it for April 3, the
birthday of my son. I met up with a friend and wanted to invite her to the
book launching celebration. I said, "we are having a special function to
celebrate the publication of our latest book, War On the Homefront. Can
you please come? Oh and guess what day this is on? It is my son's
birthday. Isn't that marvelous?" As I said this I grinned and looked
happy. I was.

She stared at me with a look of disbelief! She knew how difficult it was
for me to get through special occasions. I think though that I was as
surprised as she was for I suddenly realized that I felt joyful. For the
first time in twelve years I was truly anticipating the occasion. I was
looking forward to the birthday, of my dead son. I wanted to celebrate his
life.

That moment was when I realized that in trying to alter the perspective of
one grieving mother, I had changed my own.

I know God puts people in our lives whom we are meant to help and I
wanted to help this other mother deal with this problem. I had no idea
there was help coming for me too! Now I see that God had an even bigger
plan. In helping her I helped myself. Good deeds often yield great
blessings and I am overjoyed at what has happened.  I am still marveling
at the change that has taken place in my life.  I know without a doubt
that when we reach out to one another across time and space, and when we
attempt to help,to pray for,  to console, to council or support one
another, good things just have to happen.

I have also discovered that now it does not matter if I celebrate
Jason's birthday right on that special day or if I honour him on any day
in that month, or in that year!. Now I am just thrilled that I do want to
celebrate his life. I feel as if I have just stepped out into the
sunshine!

I am realistic. I know I still may cry a bit on his birthday, as I am so
lonely for sight of him but I also know that now more of those tears will
be for the joy of knowing him.
Ellie Braun-Haley

Editor of Angels On Earth
http://www.eaglecreek.org/angel

POST SCRIPT
Well I got through that birthday. He would have been 29 years old. There
were no tears. It was a joyful occasion.  The sun does continue to shine!!