Bereaved parents honor children

Ann Kemmeter of the Wildwoods Chapter of the Compassionate Friends displays her share of crocheted butterflies that she made. The Mizpah butterfly is the sign of new life, representing death as a transformation, not a finality, with the hope of reunion with the one who dies. It is the theme of the 8th Annual Candle Lighting Program honoring the memories of deceased children throughout the world. (Daily News photo by Theresa Seabloom)

Daily News staff

When Ann and Don Kemmeter's son John was accidently killed in 1980 at the age of 17, they had no where to turn to find support in their continual grief.

Ann's co-workers and friends did not know how to help her.

Only one who has gone through the same tragedy can relate in the fullest sense, she said.

Three years later, Ann's sister-in-law sent her a book entitled "The Grief of Parents When A Child Dies" by Margaret Shandor Miles. "The book was as if you could have written it yourself. Your thoughts are in such turmoil you can't believe anyone else could be going through the same thing," said Kemmeter. "You are afraid you're going crazy."

Through the book she learned of The Compassionate Friends, a national non-profit support organization offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents and siblings in their various physical and emotional aspects of grief. Kemmeter contacted the national office and thus began The Compassionate Friends, Wildwoods Chapter in 1983. Meetings are held the first Monday of each month at 7 p.m. in the Associated Bank drive in community room. Kemmeter says she will always stay involved because of her son John.

"If I didn't have this connection some people wouldn't even know he ever existed. This keeps his memory alive." She would like to step down though and have someone fill her shoes. "But this is heavy stuff - this job has to come from the heart," Kemmeter said.

"When things get too heavy in the meetings, we have relied on Rhinelander's professional community to help.

"Our core group of eight people is tremendous - I couldn't have done it alone. The support group is solid and very strong on confidence and trust. This group reaches all walks of life and the sharing puts us all on an equal basis."

On Sunday, December 12, the Compassionate Friends invites bereaved families and friends to the 8th national Candle Lighting Program held at the Rhinelander School District Administration Center, 315 S Oneida Ave, beginning at 6:30 p.m.

The symbolic candle lighting is to honor the memories of the lost children all over the world. Readings of stories, poems, music and candle lighting are the main focus, with refreshments and fellowship to follow. Bring a picture of your loved one for the Memory Table. For more information, call Dawn Staszak at 715-369-3353.